


'Juvenile' Madgod

by Sheogorath



Series: Post-Greymarch [7]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen, Pastiche, TARDIS - Freeform, mental age regression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheogorath/pseuds/Sheogorath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheogorath wakes up one day as a three-year-old, so what does Haskill do? Why, hire the first madman to come along claiming to be a doctor to take care of Him, of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was reading some Sherlock age regression fics recently when it occurred to me to write one with Sheogorath as the 'toddler'. Then when I got stuck trying to write a doctor character, I remembered just how zany David Tennant's Doctor was, and the rest is history.  
> BTW, an explanation for Sheogorath's mental state will be in the second chapter, so don't worry!

# Chapter One.

Waking up with a start, Haskill lay in bed for several seconds, wondering exactly why he thought something was wrong. Then, all of a sudden, he realised. Ordinarily, he would be awakened by a summons from Sheogorath, and today was the first time he had woken up by himself. Concerned, the chamberlain got up and went to his master's bedchamber, which had been built during the recent restructuring of New Sheoth Palace, then shook the umbric Argonian awake.

Upon opening His eyes, Sheogorath gave vent to a long wail followed by a couple of hiccupping sobs, then after another wail and two sobs, He screamed so loudly and shrilly that the sound virtually tore through Haskill's eardrums. Instantly realising that something must be badly wrong, Haskill asked the Grakendo who had arrived if she would fetch a doctor.

"I do not believe that there _are_ any doctors in the Shivering Isles, sir," came the response.

"Then just get the first madman who claims to be one," he replied.

After about fifteen minutes, during which time the Madgod calmed down and sat on Haskill's lap, calling him 'G'anda', the Grakendo walked back into the room, followed by a man with short brown hair, who was wearing what the Breton somehow recognised as a shirt and suit with a piece of stitched material tied round his collar and weird shoes on his feet.

"I saw this man come from a strange blue box in the courtyard, sir," the Grakendo said just as the stranger stepped out from behind her.

"Hello!" he exclaimed in a cheery tone that was shaded with an Edinburgh accent.

"You're a doctor?" Haskill enquired of the man.

"No," the stranger said shortly. "I'm _the_ doctor. Now, what seems to be the problem? Daleks? A singularity? Computers gone haywire? I _love_ computers that go haywire. They think they can pass the Turing Test by taking over things, and setting them right is just _so_ much fun! I really love dealing with singularities, too, but I don't like Daleks. Although I _do_ have to admit that Weeping Angels are even worse..." He trailed off as he realised that Haskill and the Grakendo were staring at him, and asked, "What?"

Without a word, Haskill indicated Sheogorath, who had His face pressed into the Breton's neck and His arms around his ribs. Instantly, the Doctor took a strange rod about six inches long from his pocket, then extended it before running it up and down in front of the clingy Madgod, the device emitting a high pitched hum all the while.

Once the Doctor had finished, he said, "Well, the results of my scan revealed that the creature is a saxhleel, a vampire, immortal, and has bipolar disorder. That's another name for manic depression."

"All of which I am already aware, thank you," Haskill replied in his usual dour tone. "Now can you tell me what is _wrong_ with Lord Sheogorath to make Him behave like _this_?"

With a wide-eyed look of innocence, the Doctor asked, "You mean he's not _normally_ three years old?"

"Of course not," Haskill replied, then stopped as the full import of the Doctor’s words hit him.

"Oh, yes," the Doctor continued, still cheerful. "Sheogorath is three years, two months, one week, and five days old. I'd say that if this isn't his usual state, then it's probably psychological. Tell me, has he experienced any trauma recently? Any unusual stresses?" His voice dropped slightly on the last word.

Haskill related Sheogorath's history since His mantling of Madness, but the Doctor just shook his head.

"I can't see much about _that_ that would bring about this psychological state," he remarked. "There must have been something he hasn't told you about."

"Well, can you make my Lord better?"

"Oh, no! I've far too much to do to stay here for as long as _that_ might take. Saving the universe and all that!"

"Then please take Him with you until He's back to normal. He can't rule the realm in _this_ state!"

As if to make up the Doctor’s mind for him, Sheogorath suddenly stood up and went towards him, asking, "Daddy?"

The Doctor looked at Haskill helplessly, but upon seeing the Breton nod his head, said, "Yes, I'm your daddy. Can you tell me your name?"

"Daddy not know me name?" Sheogorath asked, puzzlement in His eyes.

"Of course I do, sweetheart," the Doctor answered. "It's just that you had a bump on the head last night, and I need to see if you can remember."

"Me Walks-in-Shadows," Sheogorath answered, causing Haskill's look of concern to deepen. His Lord had not used that name for several decades.

"Well done," the Doctor said. "Now, are you ready to come back home?"

"This not me home?"

"No. Your home is with me on the TARDIS. We'll have _so_ much fun! Well, ready?"

"I hungwy. Want cheese."

"Okay, I'll find you some once we're home. Come on!"

With that, the Doctor took Sheogorath's hand, then led him back the way he had come.


	2. Chapter Two

# Chapter Two.

While walking with the Doctor through His palace, Sheogorath asked, "Daddy, why you smaw?"

"Oh, I'm not small, Walks-in-Shadows. You're big."

The Madgod digested this in silence for some seconds, then asked, "Why me big?"

"That's what I'm going to find out, sweetheart. All right?"

Sheogorath nodded and stayed quiet for a few more minutes, then said, "Daddy, me voice go w'ong."

"That's part of you being big, so try not to worry about it, okay?"

"'Kay, but me want pwenty cheese."

The Doctor chuckled as he carried on to the Tardis, which was now in view.

✱   ✱   ✱

When she saw the strangely dressed man and Lord Sheogorath walk past her hand in hand, an Aurmokel had a moment of panic as she imagined her imminent arrest. Then as they continued, her Lord saying something like 'plenty of cheese', she breathed a sigh of relief when she realised that He was obviously fine apart from having no memory of the previous night's incident.

The whole thing had been His own fault, really. It was common knowledge that it was unwise to threaten one of the Palace Guard, especially an Aureal, so when the Madgod had jumped out at her from one of the 'secret' passages He had had created for that exact purpose during the reconstruction of His Palace, it was only natural that her first instinct was to swing round with a clenched fist. The Aurmokel had realised who it was only as her gauntlet made contact with the side of His head, and she had given a groan of despair as He immediately fell to the floor. When Lord Sheogorath didn't get up again, however, the Aurmokel had picked Him up and slipped into the passage He had come from.

Sneaking along the secret passages and scurrying across the main ones once she was sure they were empty, the Aurmokel had finally reached her Lord's bedchamber and put Him in the bed, then fled back the way she had come before she could be missed from her post. She had no way of knowing about the effect her unthinking blow had caused.

✱   ✱   ✱

Walking across the courtyard towards the Tardis, Sheogorath whinged, "Daddy, wanna go potty."

"We'll be home soon enough, sweetheart, so just hang on until then."

"But me wanna go potty _now_!" Sheogorath roared, beginning to grizzle.

"Very soon, I promise. Look, we're here now!"

"This house?" Sheogorath asked, doubt clear in His voice.

"No, it's like a spaceship."

"Too smaw!"

"It's a lot bigger inside, I promise you. Here, have a look and see."

Opening the door of his police box, the Doctor showed his charge inside, only for Sheogorath to then run back out and all around it. He then went in again and simply stood just inside the door in stunned silence.

A few minutes went by, then the Doctor heard a very quiet "Sowwy," and looked down to see a four inch length of faeces on the floor.

"Well, she won't like that," he murmured, not quite quietly enough.

" _Who_ won't wike it, Daddy?" came the inevitable question.

"The Tardis! My beautiful, glorious Tardis! How are you, old girl?"

At this question, the deep humming of the Tardis grew in volume and all the lights came on fully, causing Sheogorath to breathe, "'Mazing!"

"Yes, she is, isn't she? Even more amazing than me, as she often likes to tell me."

Sheogorath giggled at this just before His adopted father strode over to the console in the centre of the large room and said, "Here she is, powering one huge spaceship right from inside here! Come and look."

By this point, however, Sheogorath could no longer care less, and He whinged, "Daddy, me _hungwy_!"

"Oh, yes, of course! You wanted cheese, didn't you? Now what kind of cheese would you like? Cauliflower cheese? Broccoli cheese? Cheese on toast? Macaroni cheese? Cheese and chips? Cheese soup? The choice is yours!"

"Just want cheese," Sheogorath said, starting to grizzle again.

"Just cheese it is," the Doctor agreed, then he went off somewhere, coming back in a few minutes with a plateful of cheddar sticks, which he handed to his charge.

As soon as He had the plate, Sheogorath sat on the floor and began to eat in a single-minded manner, making sounds of appreciation as His adopted father cleaned up the results of His accident.

Once He had finished eating, Sheogorath looked at His daddy to ask for more, but the Doctor was by then busily engaged in running around the console, pointing his sonic screwdriver at various places here and there. Nothing loath, Sheogorath quietly got up and set off to find more cheese.

✱   ✱   ✱

When Martha Jones finished her book, she went to the Tardis's galley to get something to eat, only to see a dark lizard-like humanoid gnawing at a large block of cheese it had obviously taken from the open fridge in front of it. Martha was unable to suppress a gasp of shock, and the creature glanced at her before returning its attention to the cheese.

Instantly, Martha was running from the galley and towards the control room, calling for the Doctor as she sped through the corridors of the Tardis.

✱   ✱   ✱

When the Doctor heard Martha calling for him, he took his attention from his repair work in order to greet her.

"Hello, Martha! There's someone I'd like you to meet." He looked around for Sheogorath, and not seeing Him in the room, said, "Well, he'll be somewhere. The Tardis isn't so big that he can get lost for long. Oh, is there something you need, Martha?"

"Doctor, there's a strange creature in the galley!"

"Really? Perhaps you'd best show me, though I have no idea what could have sneaked aboard."

The Doctor accompanied Martha to the galley, then once he got there, he immediately burst into delighted laughter.

"Oh, Martha, you _clever_ girl! You've found him!" The Doctor then went over to Sheogorath, who was still eating His block of cheese, and said, "You really like cheese, don't you, sweetheart?"

"Yes, Daddy," came the response through a full mouth.

"What _is_ it?" Martha asked.

"Martha, this is Walks-in-Shadows. He's the person I wanted you to meet. Walks-in-Shadows, this is Martha. She's going to help me look after you. Aren't you, Martha?"

Knowing the Doctor’s eccentricities well by now, Martha simply agreed, whereupon Sheogorath asked her, "Are you my mummy?"

At this innocent question, the Doctor instantly recalled his experience with the Chula nanobots, which had created havoc in WWII London by fixating on a boy who had been killed in an air raid during his previous regeneration.

"No, I'm not your mummy, but I could be if you want."

Immediately, Sheogorath stood up, His cheese falling from His lap, and went over to Martha for a hug.

With the sound of the cheese hitting the floor, the Doctor pulled himself together just as Martha asked him, "How old is he?"

"Three years, two months, one week, and five days precisely."

"He's a bit big for three, isn't he?"

"Psychological issues of some kind, but he's actually thousands of years old chronologically. I've been hired to help him get better, though I've no idea how I can do that."

"Wait, _thousands_ of years old?"

The Doctor nodded. "Oh, yes. Turns out he's one of the local deities of Nirn, one of the planets below us."

"Well, if the planets are below us, where are we now?"

"We're in the Shivering Isles, the Daedric Prince of Madness's plane of Oblivion."

All of a sudden, Sheogorath interrupted the conversation by whinging, "Me bored."

"Martha, you see what you can do with this while I find Walks-in-Shadows something to keep him out of trouble. Come on, sweetheart. Let's find you some toys."

"What do you expect me to do with this?" Martha demanded as she gripped the sonic screwdriver, which the Doctor had handed to her.

"Fix the Tardis, of course! Don't worry, I'll be finished soon enough."

With that, the Doctor left the galley with Sheogorath, leaving Martha to make her way back to the control room.


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter Three.

Pulling open various cupboards and rooting through them despite knowing that he wasn't likely to find much, the Doctor suddenly gave a delighted exclamation when one of the cupboards opened to reveal a selection of stuffed toys of various types, and he began to pull them out and hand them to his charge, who simply threw each one aside until He grabbed one with a crow of joy, only to then throw it aside with an equally emphatic sound of disgust.

Mystified, the Doctor picked up the almost realistically large stuffed tiger, wondering what was wrong with it. Then he saw the problem. Immediately, he felt in his pocket for his sonic screwdriver, then remembered that he had given it to Martha, so set off to the control room in search of her.

✱   ✱   ✱

"Martha?"

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Can I have my screwdriver back, please?"

"Of course, but why? Where's Walks-in-Shadows?"

"With more stuffed toys than a three-year-old has any idea what to do with," the Doctor answered as he took back his own favourite toy. "Don't worry!" He used the sonic screwdriver on the eyes of the tiger he held, murmured, "That'll do," then gave the device back to Martha, who resumed staring helplessly at the Tardis's console as her current employer ran back through the corridors.

✱   ✱   ✱

Sheogorath was still looking for a toy like His favourite animal when one suddenly descended into His view and He heard His daddy ask, "Is this better, sweetheart?"

Grabbing the large toy, Sheogorath delightedly exclaimed, "Woovar!"

"Woovar?" the Doctor repeated, puzzled.

"No, _Woo_ var," the Madgod clarified.

"Oh, Roovar."

"Yeah. Cwever daddy." With this, Sheogorath looked at the eyes of His ruvaar, which were green like they should be instead of brown like the eyes of the other had been, then gave His daddy a big hug in thanks.

"Alright," the Doctor gasped once he was let go, feeling as if his ribs would never return to normal. "Shall we find you something else?"

Sheogorath nodded enthusiastically, and within another half hour, had two boxes full of toys, games, and stuff for colouring as well as His tiger. Unfortunately, He also had another accident, so the Doctor put Him in the bath with His new boat, then after cleaning up the mess, went to speak to his companion once more.

✱   ✱   ✱

"Martha, do we have any training pants suitable for big boys with tails?"

"Not that I know of, but have you tried using the replicator? That might be one of the things it produces since it broke."

"Oh, Martha! Whatever would I do without you?"

"Struggle, I imagine," Martha quietly said in response to the Doctor’s rhetorical question as he raced off again.

✱   ✱   ✱

After about ten minutes of jabbing various buttons on what had been the food replicator, the Doctor not only had a large collection of men's Tena Pants, but also vests, T-shirts, jumpers, and shorts. Gathering up one of each of these items, the Doctor set off back to the bathroom in which he had left Sheogorath.

✱   ✱   ✱

Upon entering the bathroom, the Doctor stopped short in consternation. However, the thing which surprised him was not the fact that the Madgod was lying under the water with His thumb in His mouth since His daddy knew about His gills from the scan he had performed. No, what shocked the Doctor was the fact that Sheogorath seemed to have acquired two leathery wings which were of the same deep black with a crimson sheen as the scales on the majority of His body.

"Hey, how did you get wings?" the Doctor asked once he had got Sheogorath to sit up.

"Me want wings, then have them," came the response.

"You mean you wished for wings and got them?"

"Yes, Daddy."

The Doctor passed a hand over his face, an uncharacteristic gesture, then said, "All right, out of the bath now and I'll dry you off."

✱   ✱   ✱

Twenty minutes later, with Sheogorath clean and dressed in a pair of royal blue shorts, the Doctor led Him back to the control room only moments before there was a knock at the door of the Tardis.

"Oh, hello!" the Doctor said as he opened the door. "What _is_ your name, by the way?"

"My Lord has seen fit to dub me Haskill," came the reply. "Is He any better?"

"No, psychological conditions don't work quite like that."

"I understand. May I see Him anyway?"

"Of course, of course! Right this way."

The Doctor led his guest into the Tardis, and Haskill stopped short at the sight of Sheogorath.

**Author's Note:**

> Copyright © 2014 Romersa’s Protégé. Individuals and groups are free to copy and share this work for all purposes except large scale distribution, subject to credit being given and any derivatives being released under the same or a similar licence. All other rights reserved.


End file.
